The boss who just won’t promote you no matter how may review targets you smash. The co-worker who, for some unbeknownst reason, makes a concerted effort to sideline you and refuses to give you anything more than monosyllabic responses. Oh, and the person on your team who has no qualms about shamelessly taking credit for you work, only to throw you under the bus the minute something doesn’t quite go as planned.
They say friends are the family we choose for ourselves but what about colleagues – you know, those people you see upwards of 40 hours each week? You spend more time with them than anyone else in your life and probably know more about them than anyone else too – from what their strong opinions on any number of topics to how often they go to the toilet. When you work side by side with someone, five days a week, there’s no escaping them. That manager who continually gives you grief? She’s probably not going anywhere anytime soon.
There’s no perfect workplace in our experience (besides TLE HQ, of course) and no matter what industry you work in, chances are you’re going to encounter a difficult colleague at some point. Your job can be rewarding on a professional level and, in many cases, can be a great place to broaden your network but you can count yourself lucky if your office is filled with only friendly faces. There are however, a few things you can do to keep a level of sanity that don’t involve snapping back or resignation.
After a very long debate about this in the office, we’ve rounded up the three most challenging workplace personalities we’ve all encountered – from the faux friend to the jealous co-worker – and the tips and tricks we’ve learned to deal with them. Think of this as the ultimate guide to surviving at your 9 to 5.
The Limelight Seeker
You know the scenario: you’ve spent a lot of time and energy working on ideas for a project. The time has come to present your ideas and what happens? The colleague you were using as a sounding board chimes in and takes all the credit. Stopping them mid-flow to call them out probably isn’t the best thing to, especially if it happens in a big meeting but of course, actions like that can’t go unchallenged.
The credit thief is without doubt one of the most infuriating people to work with because they’re just as likely to pass the buck the moment something goes wrong. Our advice for dealing with them? Start by asking yourself whether their actions were truly malicious or more of an oversight. You’ll feel stupid if you confront someone over a harmless on-off mistake. Of course, if it’s something bigger, bring it to their attention and make it clear that you don’t expect them to repeat the act in future. If you don’t trust that that the issue will end there, take your manager aside and have a discrete conversation about it. When you talk to your boss you’ll need to make sure you have clear, specific examples to draw on so it doesn’t seem like childish tittle-tattle. It’s helpful to keep email evidence too so you can support your claims.
The Green Eyed Monster
There’s a very fine line between subtle envy and venturing into to serious green-eyed monster territory. Sure, getting promoted or being giving exciting projects to work on might rustle a few feathers but a co-worker who continually seems to be fixated on your life and what you’re doing is a cause for concern.
The hardest thing about dealing with jealous co-workers is that the root cause is often something that’s not been verbalised so it’s can be hard to get to the bottom of it. And besides, nobody is ready to admit that they’re jealous (even if they are) so the best way to deal with it is to take a more casual approach.
First of all, think about where the jealousy might stem from? Is there something you’ve said or do that could come across as you flaunting your wins or showing off about something in your personal life? Sometimes, just thinking about your own actions and making minor changes could put any ill feeling to bed.
If the problem doesn’t stop after that, make a note of specific instances that occur and the ways they have impaired your ability to do your job and take it up with your manager or HR. Nobody has the right to allow their baggage to sabotage your work.
The Fireball
We’ve all worked with colleagues that want to stamp their authority and are of the ‘It’s better to be feared than loved’ school of thought. They are often senior members of staff who believe that they’re so established and invaluable at the company that common courtesy and basic manners are reserved only for those above them.
The trick with fireballs is to give them a wide berth. When you sense a tantrum coming on, try to keep your distance until the storm passes. If you’re working in close proximity to them, try to ignore it and remember that they behave in that way because they have an agenda. When they’re in that mood, avoid confrontation. Sometimes working in an office about understanding the power play and politics at hand so while it can be tempting to snap back and lose your cool, keep the long game in mind. Keep a dignified silence – you’re better than them.
The Faux Confidante
Spending so much time at work, it’s hardly surprising that after a while our walls begin to drop with the people we work most closely with. The faux confidante takes advantage of that, encouraging you to confide in them only to use it against you later.
It’s difficult with the faux confidante because it often takes a while for them to show their true colours. You safest bet is to be careful not to let your guard down and make a point not to share things you wouldn’t want to whole office knowing. Being wary doesn’t mean you can’t forge lovely relationships with people you work with. Just allow people to earn your trust before you call them an ally.
The Sycophant
The disingenuous colleague is the one with an agenda. A joke from a manager will leave them in stitches, funny or not, while the person who has just got a promotion will instantly become their new best friend. This the person who has their eyes on the prize and has no shame in showering the right people with excessive compliments to get there. The most annoying thing with the disingenuous colleague is that, while their devious actions are blatant to you and everyone else on your team, it often goes unnoticed by superiors, you know, while they’re busy basking in an ego-stroking extravaganza.
There’s not much you can do about those types. The best thing to do is to simply focus on developing your own, genuine relationships with senior staff and the people around you. In everything you do, authenticity will take you far and there’s a danger in focusing too much on the way other people take shortcuts to get ahead and not enough time taking tentative steps ourselves. Taking the time to invest in your own relationships is more valuable than one built on being sycophantic.