Like all the best ideas, Hello Sitter came into the world because founder Lauren Mansell needed to become its biggest customer. Based in New York and away from friends and family in London she struggled finding sitters for her daughter, Ady. “It made me think that if I’m having so much trouble, surely other parents are too…My dream was to not only eliminate the stress but also the ‘parent guilt’ we get when we leave our children, and that’s where Hello Sitter comes in.”
Think of it as Uber, but for babysitters – and a whole lot safer. The on-demand app allows you to book a sitter in less than an hour. All you need to do is in input your child’s interests, any special requirements they have and five traits you’d like in a babysitter and the app does all the work to find the right match. And fear not – you’re not leaving your child with a random stranger. Every sitter is interviewed in person and given a thorough background check before they’re on-boarded. Currently only available in Manhattan and a few Brooklyn neighbourhoods, babysitters are paid anywhere between $21 and $26 an hour, depending on how many children they’re taking care of and Hello Sitter takes $6 from every hour. As much as the business was born out of her own ambitions, it was always her mission to support other women (who make up the vast majority of sitters) to make money too.
While you may not have heard about the service before, the business is quickly gaining traction partly due to Mansell’s willingness to talk about the intrinsic challenges that come with being a working mother. Her loyal following have jumped on board because the it’s a no-brainer but also because they feel she understands their plight. You know, that initial adjustment of going back to work and having to leave your baby, having to accept that you no longer have the extra hours you’d like to dedicate to your work and, well, just feeling like you’re failing both professionally and at home at any given time.
Isn’t it interesting that we have never been as empowered as in the workplace as we are now yet we’re still riddled with guilt, both by society and self-inflicted, when we refuse to prescribe to the idea that our lives must revolve around our children? The first step in fixing these problems is about having honest conversations. When we’re silent, we reinforce myths. In talking about it, no matter how embarrassing or shameful it may feel, we’re one step further to losing all the damn shame. That’s why mom guilt and utilising services like Hello Sitter to reclaim time for yourself after having children formed such a big part of our chat with Lauren when we caught up with her in her New York apartment. Here she shares why having her daughter was the biggest driver for her professionally and also the advice she has for new moms.
ON WHY BEING A MOTHER DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR ASPIRATIONS ON HOLD: I was pretty young when I fell pregnant and had Ady and had lost sight of what I wanted to achieve. I had a sudden moment of “Wait, but what about all the dreams I had that I never got around to?” followed by “What will I tell my daughter I did before she was born.” It was a mixture of wanting to show her what she could be, combined with this selfish need to achieve more. It was fuelled by the fact that in New York you are surrounded by these incredible women that never stop being who they were but instead use motherhood to make them a better version of themselves. I wanted that. Being a mother is the most rewarding and magical experience but it’s okay for you to want to be other things too.
ON WANTING TO BUILD A CAREER AROUND HER FAMILY: In my school year book my teacher wrote that he thought I would be the “first student to make a million”. It has always stuck with me because I have always wanted to be that person, not for the money but the success. I wanted to take over the world, a ‘career woman’ I used to say. I lost my way for a few years, I was so unsure of what it is I wanted to ‘be’ and always felt I didn’t have any particular skill set. But after becoming a mother it reignited that ambition and it became so important to show my daughter that women are strong and intelligent and can achieve whatever they want if they work hard and commit. I went back to work when she was 9 months but I didn’t last very long because if I was going to be away from her I wanted to build something to show for it, something that was mine and maybe one day could be hers. Prior to Hello Sitter I worked in fashion, I was a model agent and scout. I found it difficult as my daughter was so young and felt I was missing out on her growing up. I decided I would pursue a business of my own so I would be creating something and also have the ability to schedule it around my family. While exploring different business ideas I had terrible trouble finding sitters in general and then even when I did find them not feeling that they were engaged with Ady in the way I wanted. As a result, Hello Sitter was born.
ON NOT LETTING FEAR HOLD HER BACK: Starting the business was incredibly daunting and fear can prevent people from ever trying but my belief is that you will never know unless you try. Worst-case scenario is that you fail, but what is failure? Surely the fact you tried and took that risk is less of a failure than being too scared to do something you believe in. When it comes to moving into new territory, someone’s got to do it – when I started Hello Sitter there were no competitors and I just couldn’t understand why nobody had thought of it but someone said to me “If it was easy everyone would be doing it”. You have to be brave and believe in yourself and your idea and just work work work.
WHERE THE IDEA FOR HELLO SITTER CAME FROM: It started with a personal need which made me think that if I am having this much trouble, then surely other parents are too. As parents we always have something going on, whether it’s something that needs doing or fixing or buying and I found the whole process of finding a sitter stressful and painful. My dream was to not only eliminate that stress but also the ‘parent guilt’ we get when we leave our children, and that’s where Hello Sitter comes in. It’s an on-demand app that lets you instantly book fully vetted sitters that are matched to your children. Safety is one of our most important aspects, with every sitter going through a rigorous application, including an in-person interview, extensive background check, providing three references and a social media sweep. All you have to do is select your required date and time and the app matches you with the sitters that best match your child based on their age, whether they have special needs or allergies and a curated list of personality qualities that best suit your child. You are able to view sitter profiles that contain all the information you would want to know along with a video and then you hit book and you are confirmed. All of the sitters are part of a 10-year membership-only agency, which means you are getting a luxury service but in the convenience of an app. We have no membership or subscription fees and no minimum booking time.
ON THE VETTING PROCESS FOR SITTERS: It’s one of the things that differentiates us from our competitors. Not a single sitter is on-boarded onto the platform until all the steps of our application are completed. Every sitter is interviewed in person to discuss their experience, which is verified with three previous childcare references and a thorough background check (sexual offenders list, terrorist watch list, criminal database, DMV records, SSN validation, screen on last residence). After this I personally on-board every single sitter, which means I have complete control over their profiles so that everything is accurate and relevant. Ultimately, we are a service and not a piece of technology – I am at the end of the phone or on email if anyone ever has questions or concerns and regularly speak to a lot of my families. The idea is that the children love to be around them thus eliminating that feeling of guilt that you can get as parents when you leave your children. It plays into the fact that just because we become parents it doesn’t change what else we want to be, doctor, teacher, student or what we like to do – movies, going out for dinners, visiting museums and so Hello Sitter allows you to be that too whilst leaving your children in the most capable hands. The fact that you can book same day (even an hour out) allows you to bring spontaneity back – no longer do you have to say no to invites if the only thing preventing you from saying yes is childcare.
THE REALITY OF START-UP LIFE: There are two things that stand out. First, I’m always wearing so many different hats. I’m CEO but I also manage marketing, admin accounting and everything else and that can be challenging in a number of ways. It makes it hard to feel like you’re doing a good job at any of them. There’s also the fact that there are so many things you want to do with your business. I have all these strategies I want us to tackle and so many ideas I want to attempt but I just don’t have the time or capacity. With a start-up you have to be selective and I try to have one focus at a time – if I want to shift to something else then another thing has to be removed first.
ON MOVING FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK: It was for my husband’s company and I am thankful every day because I adore it. The opportunities here are endless and come down to the people. I have met so many amazing individuals that are so supportive and want to help others grow and succeed. The challenges here I think have stemmed from starting a business rather than that fact I chose to start it in New York – everything from going into an industry that was new to me, to having to manage people to being responsible for making very hard decisions.
BUILDING A TRIBE: It wasn’t easy but I have to say that it was not as hard as I had imagined. What I have found with New York, in particular women and mothers is that they want you to succeed. There is no competitiveness or jealousy but instead this idea of helping each other, being a support system and sharing your skills and contacts. I am a part of so many groups where we get together and brainstorm to help each other and collaborate wherever possible. Being a parent can be challenging at times, frustrating and sometimes scary. Having people there that understand, that can be just listen or give advice without judgement makes it easier. I cannot tell you how many times I have texted my friend saying “Ady did x, does Leo do this? Is it normal?!” – sometimes you just want someone to tell you it’s okay and you’re doing a good job. My network actually grew when I become a mom. I am shy so it can be hard to make new friends but motherhood has this way of just bringing people together – suddenly you have something in common.
OVERCOMING MOM GUILT: I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty – my heart breaks when she asks me to stay or to play or to pick her up from school and I have to say “I can’t, mama’s working”. But I try and remember that in part, I am doing it for her – she may not realise it now but I believe it will help shape her, it will make her stronger and more independent. I also do try and go to the things I know are important to her (and to me) and the hours I miss working I make up once she is asleep.
THE IMPORTANCE OF ‘ME’ TIME: It’s okay for you to need a break, for you to want to do things for yourself, sometimes we are made to feel guilty for having those feelings and somewhat shamed should you want to experience things without your children but for me it is important to still be a woman, a wife and a friend alongside being a mother. As a new mom I think it is very hard because you are coming to terms with this new role and a lot of things change at once. As my daughter got slightly older and I was no longer new at it, I started to be easier on myself. If the laundry waited another day so I could use the hour to go the gym instead then that is what I did. I was lucky enough to have help and so I used the time wisely, not beating myself up if I chose some of it to use on myself.
ON WHAT HER MOTHER TAUGHT HER ABOUT MOTHERHOOD: When I was growing up and to this present day I know that I can tell my mom anything. Even if it was bad and she would be annoyed she made me feel safe and protected, it meant that I never hesitated to turn to her when I needed someone. She was my biggest supporter and I want my daughter to feel that about me, that whatever has happened I will always be there to help her and to try and make it better.
ON HER ADVICE TO NEW MOMS: It will get easier. I know everyone tells you it will “go so quickly” and it doesn’t feel like it is but one day you will wake up and they are heading out the door without a goodbye, so try and enjoy it. I found when I was a new mom I was very consumed with doing everything, not only everything to do with the baby but keeping a tidy home, keeping on top of the laundry, cooking and I drove myself crazy because at the beginning it just wasn’t possible for me. I had to let things go and accept that some things would just have to wait.